One of my Dr.'s associates told me I needed to start a journal to help me sleep, clear up a sinus infection and anxiety that I really don't have. Whatever, I'm sure they know what they are talking about, but REALLY? So in an effort to follow Dr's orders here we go.
It's been two days since my birthday. 39!!!! Woo Hoo even more of my life slowly slowing going down the drain.
On the whole the day was pretty good. No cake, who needs a birthday cake?! Talked with only member of MY family I'm talking to. Long story. The "love of my life" Spent the whole day with his best friend fixing his equipment. He came back to the apartment,then we went our for a birthday dinner with M. his BFF. Now he's sick.
Friday dawned with a long day. Woke up at 1AM to leave at 2 AM to pick up his Amish friends for a day of him driving them around. Got back at 5AM. He left and got back at 11PM. No make up sleep for me. I took the "boys" home. Left at 11:15 got back at 3AM.
In LML's mind I spent the day with him even though he was working, joking, talking with his 2 friends. I don't fit in... and as he says it's my fault.
We went for ice cream, to which on the way we got in an argument. Again, MY fault.
Today, We had breakfast with with J. No more than get back "home" he's in his game room, playing on his I pad, and sleeping as he's still very sick. A friend stops in and they go out to talk. I'm alone.
Some-days, I wonder what is wrong with me that he won't talk to me. I'm so lonely.
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