Good day

As far as my days go. LML was gone, or in his room most of the day. 

Dealt with customers most of the day, actually fixed a decent meal! Got some straightening up done, vacuumed, and I didn't have to go anywhere. Such a blessing.

So he is sleeping. I sometimes feel sorry for him in how I act or have acted. Then I remember what's been said, and how he sometimes treats me. And I get mad all over again. I try the best I know how, so does he. We are total opposites. He and I were raised on the polar opposites of each other. 

He was a rebel, I was good and sweet. He yells, threatens, and puts down in communicating. I cry and try to reason and express how I feel, then retreat into myself and shutdown.

We both learned by example of parents and grandparents.

He was so tender and caring last night when I was feeling so awful. I told him today, I NEED MORE of that. If your caring with me, I can and will be to you.  Maybe it will sink in, otherwise after 5 years I'll call it quits. A person can only take being put down by a "Loved one " some long before you snap and stay and emotionally die or make a break for freedom and start over again.